Posts Tagged ‘Politics’

Great American # 63: The Afterparty Candidate

Have you read about Steve Berke?  He’s the guy getting a lot of national attention as The Afterparty candidate for mayor of Miami Beach.  Just go to YouTube and type in his name to see his campaign platform.  If doing all that seems way beyond your skill or interest level, just take a look at this video from his campaign.  Ironically his opponent is a 75-year-old grandmother running on family values.

Mr. Berke’s values seem to reflect different families and different values than those of his opponent.  But, as always, I do try to bring you the best in political advertising.  Enjoy.

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Great American # 91: Ed Lee is 2 Legit To Quit

I love this commercial for Ed Lee, running for mayor of San Francisco.  Not only does it have a bunch of Silicon Valley big shots but it has some cool rappers like Will i Am and M.C. Hammer…well mostly cool.   Best of all is Brian Wilson, the bearded dude from the San Francisco Giants.  Watch him riff on famous Lee’s like Sara Lee, Bruce Lee and Tommy Lee.  Clearly Ed Lee belongs in this pantheon of great Lee’s.

Political advertising doesn’t get any better than this.

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Great American #37: The Donkey Whisperer

It’s time to start posting videos from around the country as we gear up for the political campaign season.   There will be gzillions spent on a lot of crappy and tasteless advertising.   And the pontificating and self-righteousness will be loud and it will be relentless.  Hang on folks.   Thanks to Ron Elgin for finding this gem.

Roger Williams is another conservative with the usual rhetoric about small government, lower taxes, anti-choice and loves guns.   He also wants to stop illegal immigration but offers no solutions except make English the national language.   Huh?  He should make a fine addition to Wrongress.  But, damn it, I actually like his commercial.

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John Edwards is Back!

For the three of you who have been wondering what happened to John Edwards, I have it on good authority he will be replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and A Half Men (TAAHM).  “I’m thrilled with this opportunity to start a new career,”  said Edwards in an exclusive interview with me.  “Since my wife didn’t leave me anything in her will I need to work and Rielle thinks I would be perfect for the role that Charlie f**ked up.  I couldn’t agree more.  I think my patina of integrity and doing what’s right that has obscured my sleazy side is the perfect combination to evolve the role on TAAHM.  Charlie took it as far as he could but lacked the angelic facade that can really add substance to the role. ”

Apparently Edwards is in negotiations with CBS to resolve timing issues as he is also committed to the next Dancing With The Stars.  “The fact that I could be in two of America’s most beloved television franchises in one year speaks volumes about how this country can forgive and give me a second chance.  Rielle and I are thrilled.”

Great American #83

The great Republican from New York, Christopher Lee, has resigned from Congress after sharing his man boobs with whomever wanted to see them on CraigsList.  Of course, they have now gone viral and have been seen by millions.  No question he will soon be hosting his own show on Fox, right after his stint on Dancing With The Stars.

Crime and Punishment

I remember a few years after Nixon was pardoned, a convicted bank robber was asked if he had anything to say before sentencing.  His response:  “I’ll take the Nixon punishment.”

It seems punishment for crimes committed by politicians is different from punishment  for you and me. 

The latest episode of how we handle government douche bags is that we will give Charlie Rangel the worst possible punishment for ethics violations, tax evasion and other crimes:  Censure.  Yep, Congress will scold him severely and probably take away his liquor cabinet.

Yet another role model to help us understand how to cope with the day-to-day grind.

By the way, while he was being investigated he was re-elected by over 80% of the people in his district.   It’s a wonderful country.

Midterm Election Debrief…sorta

The folks at CitizenTube which is the news and political blog of YouTube did a nice job of recapping ” the top 10 most-viewed videos, sourced from all videos categorized as “News & Politics on YouTube which are a mixed bag of official campaign videos, user-generated content and videos from interest groups.”
  The top ten list shows that the videos were Republican sponsored videos, including three from the great state of Arizona.  Two of them were from the nutty and oh so fun Jan Brewer who got re-elected Governor based on her awesome views on immigration.  I’m still hoping Arizona will secede.

The second part of the CitizenTube article shows the top ten most viewed political channels on YouTube.  Number one was (drum roll) Christine O’Donnell.

What Did I Learn From The Midterm Elections?

1.  Say it loud and say it often.  The winners were the ones who spent gzillions of dollars.  Ok, not all of them, right Meg?  But if you could have tv spots and robo calls every ten minutes you can drown out the oppostion.   Mostly though you just needed to show clips of your opponent taken out of context and beat their brains out with them.

2.  Be a Patriot.  A lot of money came from organizations that used words like Freedom and Democracy in their name.  They figured out ways to game the system so we couldn’t know who the individual contributors were.   It strikes me as a bit hypocritical to donate hundreds of thousands of dollars to candidates you love and yet not want anybody to know who you are.  I mean if you are so proud of these candidates and what they stand for why wouldn’t you want everybody to know?

3.  Be against something.  Over and over I saw campaigns that were all about how bad, ugly, stupid, unpatriotic and irresponsible the opponents were.  It was never clear exactly what they stood for, only what they were against.  Every opponent caused war, recession, floods, poverty, foreclosures, bad behavior, obesity, big government, small government, socialism, facism, global warming and the firing of all the losers on The Apprentice.  Whatever you do, don’t be for something…it will just come back to bite you in the ass in two years. 

So, we have a bunch of new people in Congress.   I have no idea what they stand for or what they plan on doing.  All I know is they are against stuff.   Welcome to the Congress of NO.  We can look forward to even less getting done in the next two years.   And then we can look forward to even more negative campaigning.   And so it goes.