A Trip Down Memoir Lane

Okay, I need to get something off my chest.   Memoirs by people under the age of, say, 40 should not exist.  I mean, did Miley Cyrus really have anything to tell us when she was 14 or whenever it was when she wrote My Acne Nightmare?  Then last year Justin Bieber wrote something called Getting Past Puberty.  He had a long and interesting 16 years under his belt by that time.

Now, on the heels of those two epics comes Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far by Bristol Palin.  Bristol has packed a lot of life into her 20 years and wants you to know it.  Of course, she wants you to pay $15.59 to know it.

If you really don’t want to spend your coffee break reading the entire book, I’ll list some  of the key chapter titles for you.  That way you can decide if you really want to shell out the dough to find out more about Bristol’s amazing journey.   I know some of you can’t get enough of Bristol (are you feeling me Tom?) and will go ahead and buy it just to be able to drool over her picture on the cover … especially now that she’s had jaw surgery.

Here are some of the chapter titles to give you a sense of Bristol’s book and — more importantly  — her 20 years of life on this planet.  By the way, rumor has it she has signed to do a reality series (shocking!) based on her living in a house in Los Angeles with a couple of other 20-somethings.  Sounds riveting.

Chapter 1:  Rocking The Womb:  The embryo months and early listening to Mama Grizzly.

Chapter 2:  Here I Come Ready or Not: Birth! How I Got My Name!

Chapter  5:   I’m the Oldest Palin: The other three all got weird names.

Chapter 6:  Killing Animals: How I Learned to Love Guns.

Chapter 8:  Lovin’ Levi: Cool Guy, Great Sex and Wine Coolers!

Chapter 10:  Mama is Alaska Boss: I get to ride around in a limo. Awesome!

Chapter 11:   Mama and the old guy: She is a big deal and I get lots of cool clothes. The secret service guys are hitting on me.

Chapter 13:  Levi is a douche.  I dumped him even though he says he dumped me.  Lots of fab stories about revenge sex.

Chapter 14:   Daddy wins a sled dog race. Da Man!

Chapter 16:  Abstinence except when I’m doin’ it.  I buy a house!

Chapter 17:  Dancing With the Stars. The guy who won cheated. Behind the scenes with lots of great gossip about all the losers who finished behind me.

Chapter 18:   I get a new jaw.  The best way to get rid of that baby fat on my cheeks.

Chapter 20:  I’m exhausted from talking to the person who wrote my book.  Time to do another reality show.  Bus tour with Mama!  Who is Paul Revere?

Epilogue:  I’m going to write a book every year!   I have so much to say and I want to have more books than that bitch Megan McCain.


2 responses to this post.

  1. I’m rolling in laughter, good point Jan. so I’m 44 should I hold off on writing my memoris?


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