Archive for March, 2011

John Mayer Was Never This Good

Tom Edmondson and Brandon Fischer absolutely crushed it last night at the annual Kamiak High School Talent Gong Show.  Tom (Vocal) and Brandon (Guitar) show how this Mayer medley should really be done.  And yes Tom is my son and yes this is shameless promotion.  Please watch it a lot and send it to a talent agent.  These two are GOOD!

Sweat Dreams: New Dress Code

There is a new dress code at the ‘Y.”   From my other posts you know that just about anything was ok.  Not now.  Here’s the new rules:

  •  No leather-soled shoes or shoes that mark the floors
  •  You must wear underwear or something under your workout shorts
  •  No tops that expose undergarments
  •  No shorts that expose glutes

Those last three seem to indicate that some people are exposing more than we really need to see.  The sweat pouring over my eyes has made me miss what is apparently quite a skin show.   I have seen some big bellies as tee shirts rise while on some of the equipment and it wasn’t pretty.  That should be on the list too.

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Sweat Dreams: Asleep at the Cybex

It’s been awhile since I wrote about my amazing commitment to drop some pounds and get healthy.   I’m still going to the “Y” four or five times a week and have dropped 20 pounds.  I would characterize my fitness level as moderately doughy.  While I don’t have the abs of The Situation I can see my toes without bending over.  And I’m wearing clothes I forgot I had that actually make me look pretty dated.  I mean does anybody even own a Members Only jacket anymore? (Actually I’m pretty sure The Situation does.)

But I digress.   In recent weeks it seems every time I want to use the back stretching torture chair, there is a gentleman asleep in it.   So I made a point of looking for him and watching him use the machine.  For those of you who don’t know, this particular piece of equipment is like a rocking chair with resistance.  You put your feet under a bar so they won’t move and then rock back and forth with varying amounts of resistance…thus stretching your back muscles. 

Well, the gentleman I watched starts out at about 20 pounds and gently rocks back and forth.  As the seconds go by he slows down.  Pretty soon he stops and there he is with eyes closed happily asleep.  Sometimes he awakens and starts moving again but always slows until he is asleep at the Cybex.

 I’m thinking about putting an alarm clock next to him so I can use the machine and get some sleep after my next workout.

Friday Shallow: Louis CK

Louis CK is the funniest man on the planet.  He is profoundly shallow when it comes to the human condition.  Here are a few of my favorites and yes there is profanity.

John Edwards is Back!

For the three of you who have been wondering what happened to John Edwards, I have it on good authority he will be replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and A Half Men (TAAHM).  “I’m thrilled with this opportunity to start a new career,”  said Edwards in an exclusive interview with me.  “Since my wife didn’t leave me anything in her will I need to work and Rielle thinks I would be perfect for the role that Charlie f**ked up.  I couldn’t agree more.  I think my patina of integrity and doing what’s right that has obscured my sleazy side is the perfect combination to evolve the role on TAAHM.  Charlie took it as far as he could but lacked the angelic facade that can really add substance to the role. ”

Apparently Edwards is in negotiations with CBS to resolve timing issues as he is also committed to the next Dancing With The Stars.  “The fact that I could be in two of America’s most beloved television franchises in one year speaks volumes about how this country can forgive and give me a second chance.  Rielle and I are thrilled.”

Charlie Sheen is Brilliant

If you ever needed a primer on how to create and sustain personal publicity you need look no further than Charlie Sheen.  He has single-handedly (along with his entourage of sycophants, handlers, roommates and drinking/drugs buddies) managed to capture the attention of virtually every news outlet in the country. And they are clearly hanging on his every word.

A guy like Charlie is like heroin for the press.  I mean, they had to be tired of covering the latest uprising in the Middle East or the Wisconsin union uproar.  Issues like freedom and worker’s rights get too complicated and messy.   (“Moamar Falafa says:  Libya rocks and everybody loves me.” or “I love my union because I never have to talk to my boss about my performance or money.”)

Union struggles and freedom wars are a dime a dozen.  We can only take so much and then its tune-out time.  Thank God for Charlie Sheen.  His eloquence and spot-on descriptions of himself are what we really need.  He keeps it simple and demands no thought from any of us.  Thank you news media for giving him the attention he deserves and moving that other “news” to the back burner.

For those of you who need a daily dose of Charlie and his profound wisdom this site should more than satisfy.  And if you want to compare the rants of Moamar Falafa to Charlie then go here.